I'm the Only One that will love you
by Petrichor503
Summary: "My name is Sherlock Holmes and when I was eighteen I was taken, I have known no other life." Separated between the present day and fifteen years ago Sherlock struggles with the memories that try to flood their way back. Rated M for torture, rape, imprisonment, language, drugs and Stockholm syndrome.
1. Chapter 1

**Present Day**

Detective John Watson had been chasing the crime web for a year now ever since his sister was killed. They were responsible for so many unsolved murders and crime organisations but now he had them. He knew the next victim would be here, all the puzzles he had received lead him to the abandoned flats on Baker Street, he carefully got out of the police car and looked up at the old building, the windows were bordered up and the door had serious fire damage but he knew this was the place. Inside was just the same, the wallpaper was black and the floor was covered in ash but his body stopped as he heard the gun shot, he ran up the stairs and entered the room where the woman lay, she was on her back with the shot wound dominant in her chest above her heart, he fell to the floor to feel her pulse, it was rapidly decreasing and then stopped, she was dead. John heard a creak behind him and turned to see a tall dark figure standing in the door way, he was holding a gun to John's head as he slowly got the his feet.

"Ahhh detective, you're late she's already dead as you will be in a matter of minutes. I know you have a British Army browning L9A1 in your pocket so don't even think about it, any movement and I will shoot you."

"Why did she have to die?"

"She is dead because she had served her purpose, we only needed her to lure you here, we didn't need her services anymore, you see…you're in our way detective and we can't allow that."

"You murdered my sister you sick son of a bitch, I bet you don't even remember."

"You're wrong, I remember everyone, her name was Harry short for Harriet she was an alcoholic who abused her partner, recreational drug user, she attempted suicide twice she was only twenty when she died, you didn't get there fast enough and she died in your arms, you couldn't save her. I remember every death detective."

"Why did you do it?"

"I didn't. She had valuable information that we needed, it was a simple matter that was dealt with." The tall man looked to his right as another smaller man entered, he kissed him on the cheek as he looked at the detective on the other side of the gun.

"Why is this man still alive Sherlock?" He sounded angry but the name ran rings around John's mind, he knew that name, how did he know that name, and then it hit him.

"Holy Shit! Sher-Sherlock, you're Sherlock Holmes?" The detective looked like he had seen a ghost, he looked at the man holding the gun, how could he possibly be here he thought. The man next to Sherlock was eyeing John carefully, this man was about to ruin everything, he should have killed him his self.

"We thought you were dead Sherlock." He attempted to move closer which alarmed Sherlock, he held the gun tighter which stopped John.

"If you dare move any closer I will kill you, what do mean you thought I was dead, you don't know me."

"It's me John, John Watson, do you seriously not know who I am." Sherlock dropped the gun and clutched his head, the name set alarm bells off in his mind palace, he felt pain shoot through his mind as he tried to remember the name, he snapped his head up to the man who had tears in his eyes. Sherlock breathed heavily as memories started to flood through his mind, he saw a young boy no older than eighteen, it wasn't him, he was laughing, then he saw another boy it was him but how, he didn't know these memories. Who was this man? He closed his eyes tight as his partner held his waist.

"Sherlock, sweetheart shut them out and pick up the gun." Sherlock sounded confused as he looked at the man.

"J-Jim I-I don't..." John felt the anger rise as he know knew who the man was.

"Moriarty!"

"Hello John long time no see." He grinned at John who wanted nothing more than to kill the man who had taken Sherlock. Sherlock shook as the memories that were forcing their way to the surface.

"It was you, fifteen years ago, you were there that night." John looked in horror at the man that had caused so much pain.

"Well this wasn't how I planned this but…oh well." He took out a syringe and stabbed it into Sherlock's exposed neck, he collapsed in a matter of seconds on to Jims shoulder until another man walked in and took him in his arms and out the door.

"What have you done to him?"

"I can't have him remembering now can I, it would ruin everything, I was so hoping he would kill you but I'm glad you saw him before you die."

**Fifteen years ago**

Sherlock and John giggled as they walked hand in hand down the dark alleyway, London was consumed by darkness as the snow began to fall, the flakes danced around the couple as they kissed romantically. They had been out on a proper date this time after the first was interrupted with the death of Carl Powers. They had dined and danced and now the snow made the moment perfect, it was just them under the glow of the street lamp, London was quiet as Sherlock and John continued their walk back to the university flat. This was the first time in a long time that Sherlock was happy, he hadn't had a fix since the morning which was causing some sweating but he didn't care, John kept him sane until the next dose. He had never intentionally meant to fall in love with John but he accepted him, the whole world stopped when he was with him like they were the only two that mattered, he had never felt emotions like this.

Moriarty looked out of his car window at the happy couple standing under the street lamp in the snow, he smiled as he saw the young Sherlock Holmes, he had been so close to him because of little Carl but they would soon be even closer. He glared at John who had stopped to embrace Sherlock, this made Jim livid, Sherlock belonged to him and only him there could be no other. Sherlock was equal to Moriarty, they were the same, he was brilliant at such a young age and Jim could see the potential and the greatness in him, the power he could posses with that beautiful mind of his if it was hinged the right way, everything had been prepared and Jim couldn't look away from the boy, what it would be like to have this boy at his mercy, have him broken and begging. He picked up his phone and sent the text that would change everything.

John held Sherlock in his arms and brushed a small wet brunette lock away from his face, he couldn't believe he had found his soul mate at only eighteen, it took years for most people but he had known when he first laid eyes on him all those years ago when they were children. Sherlock kissed John's soft lips then abruptly pulled away as he heard the crunch of footsteps in the snow, they were different. "_Slow footsteps, careful, quiet, they don't want to be heard, not in a hurry, not a pedestrian then, they're waiting but what for, they're getting closer, heavy footsteps, long strides, man, big, tall, six foot, wait...two men, ones shorter, five foot five and has limp in right leg, they're trying to be quiet but why me and John are the only ones here, soft sound of metal when they walk, weapon, gun…danger"_

The two men came closer and began a quicker pace, they were headed straight for the couple, Sherlock acted fast, he held johns hand and began to run, John was confused but didn't protest, he trusted Sherlock with his life. A black van pulled up at the end of the road where armed men jumped out as the couple came to a halt, they surrounded them as the street lamps were extinguished. Someone grabbed Sherlock by the back of his hair and yanked him away from John, their hands parted as Sherlock screamed, another man punched him in the stomach as the third held John's arms behind his back, he couldn't move. Sherlock felt a ringing in his ears, someone was shouting at him, but he couldn't hear, why couldn't he hear? He felt the next blow to his face this time, blood flowed through his nostrils and down to his lips. The taller man prepared the sedative as John tried his hardest to fight the man but he was too strong, he tried shouting at Sherlock but he was responding, he then got the same treatment as Sherlock a blow to his stomach, he fell to the snow covered ground as Sherlock was injected with the sedative and thrown into the van, his head slammed into the hard metal as his eyes started to close. The man shut the door and grabbed his phone. The van sped away leaving John on the snow covered concrete.

"We have him boss, bringing him in now."

"And the other?"

"Unconscious on the sidewalk."

"Perfect, how is he? sleeping I hope."

"Sleeping like a baby, although he has a bad bump to the head and a nose bleed."

"Lovely, take him straight there and if he wakes up inject him again." Moriarty ended the call and started up the car, it was going to be a long drive.


	2. Chapter 2

Moriarty walked down the long corridor, his shoes snapped against the metal floor as he straightened his jacket, he came to a halt outside the large holding cell but something wasn't right he could hear terrifying screams coming from inside the room, this alarmed him.

"MORAN!" He yelled to his lieutenant who was sitting in the control room a few doors down he rushed to Jims side immediately.

"Sir?"

"How long as he been here?"

"An hour sir no one has entered."

"Then why is he screaming and where's Smith he should be guarding this door at all times." The screaming intensified and sent shivers down Moriarty's spine. Moran checked Smiths location then ran back to Jim.

"He's in there Sir." Moriarty entered the code into the door which automatically slid open. Smith was looming over Sherlock who lay in a pool of blood and semen, he was shaking uncontrollably, Moriarty ran and took hold of Sherlock, he rocked him in his arms as fear paralysed him. Moran pulled Smith to his feet and pushed him out of the door and into another cell.

"Sherlock sweetie look at me." His eyes started to droop as Jim shook him to stay awake, the blood was on his hands and all down Sherlock's legs.

"Help me move him and get the medical kit."

Sherlock had now stopped shaking but was still in shock, Jim had stitched up the damage and had given him tablets for the pain that shot through his body.

Moriarty left the room as Sherlock slept, he sealed the metal door and adjusted his tie, Moran accompanied him as he walked back down the corridor.

"What room?"

"Room 2 Sir."

"I want you're top operatives for this job, Smith does not leave alive, and if I have any repeats of today I will personally see to your execution."

"Understood Sir."

Moriarty entered the room silently, Smith was chained in the middle, his hands above his head and his feet together. He yelped as Jim hit the side of his face with the end of his gun, blood spattered up the wall as the chains rattled.

"How dare you! The boy is MINE, and no others, I gave you strict instructions not to touch him or hurt him in any way."

"He was laying there all innocent, he needed to be brought down a peg or two so I went in." This resulted in another blow to his face.

"He screamed and wept like a bitch, he was so tight…" He pulled the trigger and the man screamed, his trousers began to fill up with blood, the red stain started to spread as lights danced in the man's eyes.

"Now you will never be able to fuck anything ever again." He left the man screaming and handed the gun to Moran.

"He's all yours, kill him for all I care, but he does not leave."

Sherlock awoke a few hours later, he had sweat running down his temple and a throbbing pain down the lower half of his body, he blinked a few times before registering what happened, his mind was hazy. "_Pain in legs, rectal discomfort, three stitches in rectum, new trousers, smell of disinfectant… raped." _He was in a different room to last time, the room had no windows but had lights in the ceiling, the door was concealed into the wall but he knew it was there, _"concealed Slide door, dead lock, handprint scanner, five digit code."_ The bed was simple a plain metal frame and a mattress with a white sheet, a metal sink and toilet was on the other side of the room, it was a dungeon complete with a security camera in the centre of the ceiling but Sherlock was not afraid, Mycroft had taught him better than to give in to such emotions, he would hold his head up high. He could feel his pulse start to quicken as he realised his bodies need. He hadn't had a fix in over a day, withdrawal was starting and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He rushed over to the toilet and started to heave, he barely had time to notice the man that entered the room, he was watching him carefully. Sherlock spat into the water and got to his feet, he steadied his feet and looked at his captor.

"How are feeling dear, that withdrawal can be a bitch sometimes." Sherlock didn't answer, Jim sighed as he got out a small remote, he pushed a small button that sent an electric shock through Sherlock's brain, he fell to his knees as he clutched his head. Moriarty removed his finger and looked at the boy.

"Are you ready to answer now?" Sherlock remained silent which resulted in another shock through his head, he yelled out and clenched his eyes shut to block out the pain but it was useless.

"Now let's try again, how are you feeling?" He coughed and looked up at Jim, his eyes were blood shot and his face had gone pale.

"Sp-spectacular th-thanks." Jim laughed, Sherlock crawled over to lean against the wall, he was still in so much pain.

"You will do as you're told Sherlock or you will be punished is that understood?" When Sherlock didn't reply he was shocked once more.

"Y-yes, please, please stop." The shock stopped and Moriarty smiled at how fast Sherlock begged. He got up and walked over to the boy, he kneeled down and stroked his pale cheek.

"I don't want to punish you Sherlock, but you must learn and if you're good you will get rewarded."

"Where's John?"

"Do you not remember?" This confused him, remember what he thought.

"John left you Sherlock, I found you unconscious on the sidewalk, you overdosed and then raped, if it wasn't for me you would be dead, I saved you."

"No that's not what happened, me and John we, we ran away from…. I was… I…I don't remember." Jim held Sherlock to his chest.

"Sshhhhh its okay, you've been through a tough time, your safe now he can't hurt you, I'm going to look after you and keep you safe."

"I remember you though, you were there at Carl Powers funeral, you're Moriarty, Jim Moriarty."

"Yes that was a tragic day, poor little Carl." The information was running through his mind, it didn't sound right.

"Why would John leave? I remember walking with him, our first date, he never left me you liar!" He shouted at Jim and stood up. All the memories started flooding back as he walked back towards the bed. The electric shocks must have damaged his memory briefly.

"I wouldn't overdose I always calculate the right amount, I was raped but not in London, it was here, you came in I remember the smell, your cologne has a strong quality to it, but why would you lie, why am I here and where is John?" His voice was loud and powerful. Jim stood up and looked at the boy.

"You are here because I need you."

"No that's not it, you never would of known I existed if it wasn't for Carl Powers, but what's the connection to you, he was younger than you, you're at least twenty one he was seventeen when he died he wasn't even a Londoner and going by your Irish accent you're not either, so why were you at his funeral?" He placed his hands together and held them over his mouth, under his nose. All of the connections were piecing themselves together.

"You are brilliant Sherlock so work it out for yourself, if you get it wrong you get punished but if you get it right you will be rewarded." Sherlock already knew.

"I want to know why you killed him, he was nothing to you, you wouldn't of been at his funeral unless you had a connection to him, the only reason I was there is because I knew it was murder, the police didn't listen but I knew… oh yes of course, I was suspicious, there was a flicker of doubt to his suicide and you needed to see who I was, that's why you were there, I got in your way."

"You're unbelievably sexy when that mind works, I killed him because I could, you are astonishing, my equal, were the same and I needed you. But anyway you get a reward for deducing correctly."

"What's the reward?"

"You get to sleep."

"Why did you save me earlier, you could of left me."

"If I wanted you dead you would be, I apologise for earlier, the incident should never have happened. If I was here it wouldn't of happened, but how are the stitches?" Moriarty actually sounded sincere.

"I remember you holding me, you sounded scared, but don't you dare think for one second that I will forgive for what you have done."

"You will in time, well it was so nice to have a proper chat but I will leave you to your detox." He kissed the top of Sherlock's head but he flinched out of the way. Sherlock was left alone once again but the events replayed in his mind, all he could think about was the drugs.

**Present Day **

The detective stood once again in front of a gun but this time Moriarty was at the other end of it.

"Good bye John, say hi to your sister for me." He pulled the trigger.


	3. Chapter 3

The bullet hit John just above his heart, he fell backwards on to the cold hard floor with a thud. Moriarty took one last look at the bodies then swiftly walked through the door and down the stairs, he got into the back of the black jaguar and the car sped away down the dark London street. Moriarty looked over at a sleeping Sherlock and gently stroked his pale cheek, he was so beautiful when he slept, the sedative was necessary but it would be hard to explain in a few hours but Jim knew exactly what to do.

"Take us to Belgravia, number 44."

"Yes Sir." Moran turned the car around and began to the destination that he dreaded, he glanced into the rear view mirror, there was pity in his eyes as he looked at Sherlock. He had seen that man go through so much pain and suffering and tonight would be no different. They pulled up outside of the Belgravia estate and were escorted inside, Sherlock lay limp in Moran's arms as he laid him down on the white chair, he had seen this room so many times and every time sent shivers down his spine, he hated it here and wished there was a way to stop it but he was just doing his job.

"Ah Mr Moriarty you have been a bad boy, drugged him again have we."

"Miss Irene Adler, a pleasure as always." Irene wore a green transparent gown and black lingerie underneath as she stood in front of the criminal, her heels snapped on the wooden floor as Moriarty lead her upstairs to the room. The room was hidden in the master bedroom, it was a white padded room with a large white chair in the middle and unique equipment around the edges.

"I want the usual Miss Adler." She curled a finger through one of Sherlock's curls as she turned to the smaller man.

"This is the fifth time Jim, you know what will happen after the sixth, his mind will start to deteriorate and I don't think all that hard work will count for much when that happens."

"There won't be a sixth, trust me. Your payment will be in full when the job is done, I will wait outside." Irene was left alone with Sherlock, she slipped off her gown and threw it across the room. Sherlock's eye lids began to open as his mind started to awake, he was so very tired as he looked around at his surroundings, he couldn't think properly but he knew where he was. Irene tightened the strap around his head and clicked the restraints into place, Sherlock wasn't going anywhere. He began to panic as he saw the brightness of the room, he didn't want to be here, he began to pull at the restraints but was soon stopped at the sight of the woman in front of him.

"Hello Beautiful." She was wearing nothing, he looked her up and down then back to the restraints, they were secure.

"Oh shhhh Mr Holmes it will be over soon, I promise." She held the needle in her hand and stood next to his head.

Moran stood outside the door as the procedure happened, he hated every sound that eradicated from that room and he knew what happened, the injection was the worst part, it burned through your mind like fire, an explosion in your head that heightened every nerve cell in the body, it would burn off parts of the brain to make you erase memories, the needle was inserted into the temple and the liquid straight into the brain. He knew the needle had been injected as he heard the painful screams from the room behind him, no torture Sherlock endured was worse than this and he hated Moriarty for it. He could now hear the sobbing from the broken man as the screams got louder, the terror in his voice was heart breaking but Moriarty just sat silently on the chair opposite, he didn't even flinch as Sherlock lost consciousness once more, the procedure was done. Irene stood next to him as Moriarty walked in, he assessed the body then planted a small kiss on Sherlock's temple.

"Can't you give some time alone with him Mr Moriarty, he is delectable, imagine what I could do to that body, look at those cheekbones I could cut myself slapping that face." Moriarty snorted.

"Sorry Miss Adler, this body belongs to me." He handed her the money then began to loosen the restraints. Jim wiped away the droplet of blood on Sherlock's temple then summoned Moran.

Sherlock was on fire as he saw the red embers in his mind palace, everything was disintegrating as the drug coursed through his veins, he felt his head burn. The pain was excruciating as he saw the last twenty four hours turn to ash, it floated around him as he saw the bright colours dance in his eyes, he took one last look at the memory from Baker Street and one last look at the detective and then it burnt in front of him, it was gone. But he soon began to see the face again, he fought with all his might to keep the memory, he needed to know who this man was. The fire started to distinguish and the smoke filled his mind palace as the memories started to flood back, he saw Baker Street and the blonde man and remembered the sedative from Jim, nothing made sense.

"Who are you?" He yelled at the detective who just stared at him, his face was frozen as Sherlock circled him, who was he.

"How did you know my name?" Sherlock collapsed to his knees clasping his head, the pain was agonising but he fought through the drug, pushing it out of his system, the memory was so clear now but the agony was too much as he fell into unconsciousness.

Johns chest throbbed as he slowly sat up, he rubbed the place where the bullet hit and undid his shirt to reveal the dent in his vest, he heard footsteps on the stairs and saw Detective Inspector Lestrade rush through the door, he was shocked when he found the woman lying on the floor and John sat coughing next to her, his shirt was covered in her blood.

"What the bloody hell happened here?"

"He's alive Greg." He started to smile as he thought about Sherlock.

"What who?" He called for an ambulance as he helped John off the bloodied floor. John clutched his chest as they waited for the paramedics.

"All those years, I-I thought he was dead but he's alive." He laughed as Lestrade looked at him curiously.

"What are you talking about?"

"Sherlock Holmes is alive." Greg was dumbfounded, he remembered seeing the papers, Sherlock was dead, he died, how could he possibly be alive.

"Look John you hit your head pretty hard, you may have concussion, Sherlock died fourteen years ago, his body was found in the Thames-."

"He held the gun to my head but he didn't shoot, he's alive Greg, he was with Jim Moriarty, he's the one that took him, but they left, we have to find him now." John rushed down the stairs followed by Lestrade, the ambulance were outside when they reached the door.

"John wait, you don't know where they went and even if he was alive he obviously didn't remember you, he has lived that life for fifteen years who knows what kind of person he is especially if he is with Moriarty." He signalled for the paramedics to go upstairs to see to the body including forensics.

"So you're just telling me to give up?"

"You have to know when you're beaten, there's no changing what happened, it's not the Sherlock you know."

"I won't give up until I find him, the man I love is still in there, I'm sure of it. I will find him."


	4. Chapter 4

Sherlock had not seen Moriarty since his first night in the cell, he wasn't certain how long he had been prisoner but it must have been more than three months, Sherlock had lost count. Every day brought something new, a new torture for him to bare and it was agonising every time, he had never felt so much pain and suffering but every once in a while he was allowed to sleep, just a little but it was enough to keep him sane. His mind was deteriorating every day, his memories were getting more distant as he tried to remember the ones he was taken from, his brother, did he have a brother? Sherlock struggled to remember, but he knew and remembered John, he could still see him when he was allowed in his mind palace, there he was under the glow of the street lamp, snow surrounds him as he smiles up at Sherlock who towers over him, that memory was the last he had left, everything else was gone, replaced by hours of pain and one face, Moriarty.

Sherlock awoke to a sharp shooting pain through the back of his head, he still had the electrocuting chip underneath his skin on the back of his neck, he had tried to gauge it out himself but he gained a severe punishment instead, he hadn't tried since. He shut his eyes tightly as the pain grew. He stood with his hands shackled above his head, he knew this couldn't be good, he hadn't been chained in months at least not like this. He slowly fought through the pain of the shock and opened his eyes, Sherlock looked down and confirmed what he knew was true, he was completely exposed. The door began to slide open and a high voice followed.

"Sherlock, Sherlock, Sherlock." He dragged the metal chair over and sat in front of his pet.

"My how you have grown in… wow… three months, it's been too long, but today will make up for that." He put his hand into his suit pocket and revealed a small rubber ring, this sent a shiver down Sherlock's spine, he knew exactly what it was.

"Oh you don't look to happy about my little ring here, you see it's a simple game were going to play." Moriarty stood and walked up to Sherlock, he brought his hand to his chest and rubbed his thumb lightly over the purple bruises.

"I need you to trust me that I would never hurt you, not really. At the end of this game you will because I will never do anything to you unless you ask." Sherlock began to pull on his restraints as Moriarty placed the rubber ring at the base of Sherlock's penis, he groaned as the blood flow began to slow, he began to grow hard as Moriarty lightly kissed him on his parted lips. He stepped back and sat back down on the chair whilst never taking his eyes of a squirming Sherlock.

"Oh did I forget to mention that the ring is also a vibrator." He began to giggle as he clicked the button on the remote, Sherlock shrieked as the vibration began. It didn't take long before Sherlock was close to the edge but Moriarty wasn't going to let him finish just yet, he turned the vibrator off which elicited a cry from Sherlock, out of all the pain he endured, the beatings, whippings, nothing compared to this, this was unimaginable torture.

"P-please."

"Not yet my love." Moriarty flicked the switch once more and he continued to watch Sherlock writhe as the vibrations made his member solid, red and wet. Sherlock screamed and cried as Moriarty turned it off and on for the fifth time, he was exhausted, he just wanted that release.

"Pl-please J-Jim please." He began to sob as Moriarty flicked the vibrator on for the last time.

"Please what Sherlock what do you want?" He slowly got up and walked in front of a sweating Sherlock.

"Please I need, I need it, give it to me, fuck me please, fuck me!" Moriarty didn't need another incentive, he turned the limp body over so that Sherlock's face rested on the cold wall, he undid his trousers and rubbed his member then prepared Sherlock's entrance, adding a few fingers before he gently entered, Sherlock screamed from pleasure as the vibrator hit its maximum speed, Jim thrust hard then exploded inside the crumbling man, Sherlock cried out as he was finally allowed to release, he saw stars as Jim held him tightly, he quickly undid the shackles and lowered him down gently to the floor, Sherlock laid in Moriarty arms as they both controlled their breathing, Jim ran his fingers through the brown locks as he rocked him close to his body, he could feel Sherlock tremble as he gently removed the ring from the base of Sherlock's throbbing penis.

"Shi you're okay, just calm down, you did so well." Sherlock closed his eyes and relished in the warmth of Jims body, was he so bad he thought, the realisation was fast, Sherlock had asked to be taken, it wasn't forced or rough, It was done because he trusted Jim. Sherlock lifted his head and looked into his captors eyes, they were warm and loving, he suddenly forgot everything, every memory of his previous life but John still remained as a flicker of the past.

"You were right, I do trust you." Sherlock's voice was hoarse as he whispered the words to Jim. Moriarty smiled and kissed his forehead, he gently stroked his cheek as Sherlock fell asleep in his warm embrace.

The door slid open and Moran walked in, he calmly lifted the body into his arms as Jim stood, he done up his trousers then removed a pocket knife from his jacket, he flicked the knife then cut a small brunette curl from the back of Sherlock's head, he held it up to the light then gently stroked it across his lips, it was so soft. This was his possession. They both walked out of the cell and down a new more lighted hallway, Moriarty stopped then ascended the long staircase until they were out of the cells and into the night air. Sherlock stirred as he felt the cold wind on his face but his body was too exhausted to acknowledge the change in temperature. Sherlock was gently placed in the back of the black jaguar, Moriarty held his head in his lap as Moran drove away from the abandoned cells, the journey lasted three hours but Sherlock just laid still as his body repaired itself.

"I want him in the master room for tonight until you get the room read Sebastian." Moriarty stepped out of the car and waited as Moran carried the sleeping Sherlock.

"Yes Sir, everything has been arranged and dinner is waiting, will he be joining you?"

"Of course he will were not going to starve him anymore, but he needs his beauty sleep so tell the chef to leave a plate." Moran agreed then continued inside the estate.

The estate was lavish and expensive, Moriarty had lived here for over a year and it was home, the front door opened to a double staircase that lead to the master bedroom, Sebastian placed Sherlock onto the satin sheets then left immediately leaving the door slightly ajar. The bedroom was beautiful, the bed was an ornate wooden sleigh with a black satin duvet. A crystal chandelier hung in the centre of the room and illuminated a calm glow on Sherlock's face as he felt warmth rush over his body, he had not felt this warm in months, his body began to wake as he jerked his body up to the new surroundings, he looked around but saw only his reflection in the mirrors, he stood and walked over to one, his hair was the same but he was thinner, his pale body was covered in bruises that ranged in different colours from purple to yellow, he winced as he touched the latest bruise on his abdomen from where he was brutally attacked in the night. He jumped as Moriarty appeared behind him, he wrapped his arms around his waist, Sherlock didn't know how to react but he felt his body relax against Jims.

"They're nasty, who gave them to you?" Moriarty had anger in his voice, Sherlock stood straight then turned to face Jim.

"Are you telling me you honestly don't know?" Sherlock was taking no more, he had been through so much to give up now. He walked over to the bed and wrapped the satin sheet around his exposed body.

"My orders were never to harm you in any way." Sherlock scoffed.

"Then what were your orders? Just let me stir in my own filth whilst you carry on with your life of luxury, three months I have been in that cell, barely no food, constant attacks, electrocution, beatings, where were you?"

"Why do you care where I was? Did you miss me?" Sherlock didn't have an answer but he knew if Moriarty was there no one would touch him. Jim threw Sherlock a white dressing gown, je immediately put him on, it felt nice to be in clothing once again, he watched Moriarty closely as he undressed out of his suit and into a similar dressing gown except he had a gold embroidered 'M' on the sleeve.

"Why did you leave me there?"

"Because I had work to deal with but I'm here now, no one will hurt you anymore." Sherlock felt conflicted, he felt a pull towards Moriarty like they belonged together but there was a distant memory that tried to fight its way to the surface until Jim cupped his face, his hand was tender and it pushed every past memory from his mind palace, everything was gone, all that remained was Jim.


	5. Chapter 5

The young detective knelt next to the body as the paramedics and police swarmed around him, everything moved in slow motion as he slowly moved one of the brunette curls from the victims face, he knew who it was, he had been missing for five months but his face was dishevelled and beaten, this wasn't the Sherlock he knew. Greg Lestrade stood back up as the forensic team took the body away, he heard the voices around him, the police and the press but he blocked it all out. What was he going to tell John.

Sherlock smiled and panted as Moriarty struck his prostate, he yelled out in pleasure and arched his back as he came all over his stomach, Jim laughed as he filled his lover, he moaned as he came down from his orgasm, the sweet bliss that consumed him. The black satin sheets were soaking with sweat but the couple didn't care, they both collapsed on to the bed and controlled their breathing. Moriarty leant up and tenderly kissed Sherlock's soft lips he allowed Jim entrance and their tongues began to dance, Sherlock grinned as Jim bit his bottom lip. Moriarty knew he had to ask now whilst Sherlock was dazed otherwise he wouldn't agree.

"Sherlock I need you to do me a favour." Sherlock's eyes flew open.

"What kind of favour?" he asked with trepidation.

Sherlock knew he could do it, it was for Jim and he didn't want to disappoint him, he had given him everything. he looked at the black lace corset and lace thong on the office sofa and began to gently put them on, it was soft and oddly faltering when he looked in the mirror, it was tight but fitted him amazingly, he ran his fingers through his curls then took a deep breath. The room was red and dimly lit with chiffon lining the walls, his client sat in the middle room, he was an ordinary looking man but in an instant Sherlock read him. _Uneven breathing pattern, Heart condition, overweight, diabetes, three different perfumes, three wives, bigamist, white stain on his trousers, masturbation addiction, powder in his pocket, drug smuggler._

The man looked up as Sherlock entered into the room, his heart rate increased as he saw the lace corset, Sherlock entered with confidence just as Jim would want him to, he walked up to the metal pole that stood in front of the man and began to dance, he slithered up and down the pole, his demeanour changed to that of an expert, he hooked his leg around the pole and spun around as the man began to touch himself through his suit, Sherlock was disgusted with the man but it never showed. Sherlock batted his lashes at the man as he slowly danced over. He heard the man curse under his breath as Sherlock straddled the man, he began to wiggle his hips on the man's member which caused the man to groan, he was completely unaware when Sherlock reached around and took the small blade from the back of the chair, it was fast and quick as Sherlock slashed the blade through the man's throat, he smiled as he looked at the blood that spilt on thru floor, he didn't have a drop on him. Sherlock got off the dead man and threw the blade across the floor, he heard the clapping then saw Moriarty.

"Good boy Sherl, there's hope for you yet." Sherlock rushed over and crashed his lips against Jims.

"Mm I like this corset but where's my show?" Sherlock squeezed Jim's arm then regained his equilibrium, he walked over to the pole whilst never taking his eyes of Jim. He began his dance sliding and spinning around the pole.

Greg stood with John as the casket was lowered into the ground, so many people had turned up to see Sherlock at peace, his parents stood silently in black as Mycroft leant on his umbrella, Greg could tell he was upset but John stood numb, he didn't spill a tear as the funeral came to an end, he dropped a red rose onto the ground as he slowly walked back towards the car. Greg ran after him.

"John wait."

"Why what's the point?"

"Because Sherlock wouldn't want you moping."

"Moping? I'm not moping I'm furious, he's dead and I want to know who did it."

"Revenge isn't the answer John."

"What do you expect me to?" John felt himself becoming angry.

"I expect you to remember him but don't let it ruin your life, move on John, I know it's difficult but you have to."

"I can't, I loved him so much."

"Look there is a job as a trainee detective in my department, I want you to apply."

"That was Sherlock's job not mine."

"You have to live your life John, help me and who knows maybe one day the man who killed Sherlock might turn up." John took a week to decide but it was an easy one, he needed to find Sherlock's killer and he would find him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Present Day**

"I need to take care of business Seb, make sure he is watched."

"Yes Sir." Moriarty left through the lavish front door and left Moran watching from the window, he walked up the double stairs and peered into the master bedroom, Sherlock was stirring, he was finally waking up. Sherlock turned and groaned as he felt the throbbing in his temple but he remembered everything and he had to know who that detective was, who was John Watson? He slowly got to his feet using his mind palace to steady himself, he had to be careful about what he was going to do, he tiptoed out of the master bedroom and down the corridor, pictures of Jim and him lined the walls, he smiled at them lovingly but it was a lie and this man could tell him why. Sherlock entered the office and fired up the laptop, he clicked on Google then typed in the name that was swimming around his mind. John Watson.

He found exactly what he was looking for, John Watson detective for Scotland Yard, but that was it, there was nothing else, he kept looking, there had to be something he thought.

"You shouldn't remember that name." Sherlock jumped at the voice, Moran slowly walked in and looked at the screen, he shook his head then looked at Sherlock.

"Then why do I, who is this man Sebastian?"

"He's the key to a locked door."

"No more riddles, tell me." Sebastian knelt down and touched Sherlock's knee as if to comfort him but it was use Sherlock never liked to be touched by anyone except Moriarty, it was his possession after all.

"First, you tell me how you fought that drug."

"I saw the face of the detective and my body responded automatically, I had to keep him there, my mind refused to delete him, now you tell me who he is." Moran sighed.

"I killed his sister Harriet."

"I remember her but what has she got to do with this?"

"She held valuable information on you which she would of given to her brother, Jim drew her out and I pulled the trigger although someone else was following us, John. He held her bleeding body whilst we watched in secret, Jims little secret was safe but we never lost the detective after that, he tracked us down at every opportunity but fortunately for Jim he never got to you…until yesterday." Sherlock was confused what secret.

"What secret?" Moran looked away then stood up to glare out of the window.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that, but I will help you find him."

"Why would you help me, if Jim knew he would kill you."

"You deserve answers Sherlock, this isn't the life you were meant to have." Sherlock stood and buttoned up his blazer, he leant in close and kissed Sebastian's lips softly. He knew Moran had been in love with him for almost thirteen years but he still stayed faithful to Moriarty. Moran sighed against Sherlock's lips.

"You shouldn't have done that."

"I wanted to, I have always trusted you Sebastian, please help me find this man."

John sat behind his desk looking at the coroners report for Sherlock Holmes, nothing made sense, he was there as living as me he thought. He threw the papers across his disk and screamed into his hands. His phone began to ring. **Blocked number. **He answered.

"Hello."

"Ah Detective Watson you need information and I have it, meet me at 221B Baker Street."

"Who is this?" Before he could ask the line went dead, he looked at the screen again, there was no number to ring back just a decision to make. He arrived at Baker street, the police and ambulance from yesterday had vanished and the house remained unscathed, the door was slightly ajar but he remembered what happened last time, he hoped in his heart that it was Sherlock but he was disappointed when he found a man standing by the fireplace.

"Who are you?" Moran turned around.

"An interested party, you have an hour but if a hair is moved from his head I will kill you myself and this time I won't hit the vest." He smiled at him then left through the kitchen door. John looked around then saw him, he wanted to rush to him, console him but this wasn't the man he once knew this was Moriarty's creation.

"Who are you?" Just seeing the detective hurt, he could see thousands of memories in his palace but none of them made sense.

"My name is John Watson, fifth Northumberland fusiliers and detective at Scotland Yard." Sherlock stayed where he was but eyed the man cautiously, he wasn't spectacular or gifted he was completely ordinary nothing like Jim.

"How do you know me?"

"We grew up together, you were my best friend through secondary school and college and my boyfriend through the first year at university, do you honestly not remember me?"

"I can see you in my head, but I don't-I don't know who you are."

"You've aged well what are you thirty three now?"

"Yes my birthday was celebrated a few months ago I assume you are the same age?"

"I am but stress and war have caught up with me, I look terrible compared to you, you're still as beautiful as you were all those years ago under the street lamp in the snow, that was our first proper date, after Carl powers ruined the first one. Do you not remember that?" There was sadness in his voice as he recalled the past.

"If you knew me then why don't you know me now?" John was confused what had gone on in his life to make him forget a memory like that, he saw it every night.

"You were taken Sherlock, that night actually, two men chased us then we were outnumbered and I-I never saw you again."

"You're lying, I wasn't taken, I've been with Jim-."

"He's the one that took you Sherlock, what did he do to you to make you like this, a murderer and a criminal."

"He looked after me when my parents died, I was alone and he took me in, he loved and cared for me."

"Do you even hear yourself, your parents are alive!" Sherlock took a step backwards but was reassured when he felt Moran's hand on his shoulder, he turned and looked him in the eye.

"I'm sorry Sherlock but you need to see this." He held his laptop in his arms as he pressed play, Sherlock nearly collapsed but John caught him around his slim waist, he struggled against the strong arms as he was made to watch the footage. A boy no older than eighteen was being tortured, the electricity ran through him at each scream, the boy had wet brunette hair and his body was covered in purple bruises and red marks. blood soon covered the concrete floor as a soldier whacked the boy with an iron crow bar, he heard the crack then nothing except the familiar voice of Jim.

"_That will teach him to scream, if he wakes do it again until I say stop, he needs to be begging for his life before I intervene." _Sherlock sobbed into Johns arms as the screen went black.

"I'm so sorry Sherlock."

"No! No I don't believe you, please tell me that wasn't me please." John had tears in his eyes as he saw the man he once loved fall to pieces, his whole life was a lie.

"He took you from your home, your parents and he tortured you, made you do things but he never once touched you without your consent you have to believe that, he does love you." Moran looked in the glassy eyes of the man he loved and he knew he was going to pay for it, his life was over. Sherlock didn't speak, he clutched onto Johns arms and refused to let go, his body was moving without his authority but he felt safer than he had in a long time with this man.

"You thought I was dead, why?" John sighed.

"Because they found your body in the Thames."

"But is Wasn't, Moriarty faked the DNA results, you were officially dead to the world." Moran couldn't look him in the eye, he felt disgusted that he had helped Moriarty break Sherlock. He looked at his watch and knew they had to leave now before Moriarty returned.

"We have to go Sherlock." Sherlock was deep in thought and never heard Moran utter the words.

"Hamish." John snapped his head up and felt a glimmer of hope.

"That's right." He smiled and gave a small laugh but Sherlock remained nonchalant.

"You hated that name, John Hamish Watson, I tried to guess for months before I got hold of your-your birth certificate, I remember you were so angry but you didn't stay mad for long."

"I couldn't stay mad at you." John kissed the top of Sherlock's head as a tear fell on to a curl.

"Sherlock we have to go now."

"I'm not going anywhere." Sherlock was calm, he looked as if he wasn't really there wrapped in Johns arms.

"Jim will be home in a few hours and we need to be there before he gets back, its Johns safety otherwise, he thinks he's dead."

"Okay." John was livid, he let go of Sherlock's waist and ran his fingers through his hair.

"How can you go back to a monster."

"Because I am one as well, the things I have done and not regretted, I am a monster John but it will keep you safe."

"I don't believe this, I will keep you safe, I can't lose you again and I won't." Sherlock felt every emotion rush to the surface, he cupped Johns face with his hands and pressed their foreheads together.

"I don't know why I'm doing this."

"I do, you know me Sherlock it just took a while to remember what you lost."

"I will see you again, meet me here at same time tomorrow." John agreed and watched as Sherlock left with Moran.

The drive took less than an hour but it was too late Moriarty was already home, he sat silently in the spacious living room but anger filled him as he saw Sherlock and Sebastian walk through the door, they were startled at the sight.

"Where have you been?" Sherlock moved closer and kissed Jim on the cheek, Moriarty clutched onto his wrist as he tried to pull away. Sherlock didn't struggle, he just looked into the fathomless pits of Jim's eyes.

"Where were you?" This time his voice was louder and had more authority.

"Out, we were out." He smiled widely and began to laugh. He clicked his fingers and three men took Moran by the arms and held him still, he struggled but it was useless.

"What are you doing Jim!" Sherlock screamed at him but was soon dragged out of the room by his arm.

Moriarty got out a gun from the wooden box on the glass table and held it to Moran's temple.

"Tut, tut Sebastian, I expected better from you, I always knew you loved him but to go out and betray me like that, did you honestly think I wouldn't notice, I own him and he's mine, you let emotion run you, sentiment... So John Watson isn't dead, I can work this to my advantage but you my dear are finished I'll tell Sherlock you said bye but he will be busy don't you worry." He pulled the trigger and watched as the blood spattered up the ivory wall, Sebastian Moran was dead.


	7. Chapter 7

Sherlock's knuckles split as he whacked the bedroom door once more, it was no use the door was locked, blood trickled down his arm and onto the wooden floor as he heard the gunshot. His heart stopped, Moran.

He knew it was now over, he wouldn't be seeing John again and this hurt him more than he thought it would, after all he didn't know the man. He made his way to the en-suite bathroom and placed his bleeding hand under the cold tap. Sherlock heard the door open, he turned off the tap then faced Moriarty, he walked up close to him then pulled his fist back and slammed it into Jim's jaw, he lost his balance and fell but Sherlock stood over him. Jim began to laugh as he looked into Sherlock's eyes, they were blood thirsty.

"I suppose I deserved that."

"You didn't have to kill him." Moriarty stood and held onto the door frame for support.

"But I did, there's nothing you can do now and fighting me won't bring him back but I'm so very eager to know about your little adventure today."

"I'm more interested in the lies you've been feeding me for fifteen years." Jim smiled then regained his equilibrium, he stood straighter then dusted off his jacket.

John looked at the computer screen then back up to Lestrade.

"Are you sure this is going to work?"

"Greg you have no faith in me, I put it in his coat pocket before he left with Sebastian Moran, the tracer will lead us right to Moriarty." The screen map flashed, they had the location.

"Right get a team now and give them the address, I want every agent you have on this operation, he's ours Greg and he won't get away this time." He hastily picked up his gun and made for the car. He opened the car door but stopped as Greg caught up.

"John wait we know nothing about this place, it could be surrounded for all you know, a trap even." John stopped and turned to face his friend.

"It might be but I don't care, I need Sherlock…I need him safe and away from that monster."

"He is also a monster John, remember that." John slammed the car door shut and took a deep breath.

"I know… I know, but I can't just leave him because I know I can help him."

"And what if he can't be helped, what then?"

"I don't know but I owe it to him to try, he's endured so much."

"Yeah I bet murdering people is so tough."

"It's not like that."

"Then what's it like because I don't understand."

"It's like he's been brainwashed, every memory he has is of Moriarty, but he's in there I've seen it."

"Fine if you're sure."

"I am."

"This is going to be a hell of an arrest are you ready for battle."

"Oh yeah, let's get the son of a bitch."

Sherlock sat silently as Jim gently wrapped the bandage around his bloodied hand, he knotted the end then tenderly kissed each fingertip. He sighed then looked away.

"What has he got that I don't."

"He's never lied to me."

"I have never lied about how much I love you and don't say that you don't feel the same way." Sherlock had never felt so confused and conflicted, John could show him a different world away from Jim but he loved Jim, he had nursed him when he was ill, made love to him for the first time, protected him from harm. But was it real?

"How can you torture someone you love, or supposed to love?" Moriarty stood up and began to pace up and down the length of the bedroom.

"I will do anything for you, to make you happy… and if John will make you happy then go." This startled Sherlock.

"What!" Moriarty stopped pacing and walked back over to Sherlock, he stood on his tiptoes and placed his forehead on Sherlock's forehead.

"If you want to go then go I just want you to be happy." He planted a kiss on his lips then retreated but they both jumped as ten officers in black suits barged through the bedroom door, why hadn't the alarm gone off he thought. The officers surrounded the couple as Moriarty shielded Sherlock behind him. John came in soon after as they all held their guns steady.

"Ah Detective Watson how lovely to see you."

"John what are you doing."

"I'm here to save you, something I should have been able to do fifteen years ago."

"John he was letting me go, please don't do this, I'm trying to protect you."

"This is the only way Sherlock…James Moriarty you are under arrest for criminal activity including kidnap and murder, you do not have to say anything but anything you do say will be held against you in a court of law."

Sherlock lunged forward to protect Jim as an armed officer stepped forward.

"You can't do-." Sherlock heard the gun shot loud in his ear, where did it come from? He slowly looked down to see the red wound, the blood quickly dribbled down his chest, he couldn't speak or breath what was happening? Everything was going dark. His head felt heavy as he collapsed into Jims arms. Jim lowered him gently to the floor and placed his hands over the wound, Sherlock's body began to convulse, every muscle exploding from the bullet, he could hear muffled screams but he didn't know where they were coming from.

"J-Jim." Sherlock succumbed to unconsciousness.

Jim screamed then took his concealed firearm out from under his trouser leg. The room was sprayed with red as all the officers collapsed, dead. Moriarty murdered every single one so effortlessly, John shielded himself as he saw his friends die but he couldn't keep his eyes off Sherlock, this was all his fault. Jim turned the gun to Johns temple.

"You save him now."

"I-I don't-."

"SAVE HIM"


End file.
